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Karkat Vantas
03421
Keebler Elf Fucker, dragging The Devourer Of Entire Face

Species

Troll

Gender

Male

Age

7.8 Sweeps (17 Earth Years)

Orientation

Probably Panromantic Pansexual

Blood Type

Mutant (Bright red)

Color

Grey

Occupation

Crafter of long-winded metaphors

Birthday

June 12(?)

Karkat is a vaguely crab-shaped troll whose leadering skills are arguable. He has several suitors for both red quadrants, all of which are unsavory and probably also unsanitary. Contrary to popular belief, his last name actually comes from the fact that he and everyone related to him has a combination of a van and an ant stuck up their ass, with the second s removed in order to fit troll naming policies. There is some debate on whether or not he has a soft high quality ass. The debation derailed into trying to figure out whether or not he has a van and an ant stuck up his ass right now. He likes his friends and doesn't like it when they die. He has anger and volume issues that could arguably use work (not to mention the gossipping), but he is all-around a pretty okay person. Sollux wants all up in his pale quadrant for a number of unknown reasons, and it is quite possible that cafescarpman wants all up in his flushed quadrant. He seems to be relatively unresponsive to quadrant advances much of the time, except when it is towards a keebler elf.

He regularly attends seminars. There has been much debate as to what kind of seminars, but nobody seems to be able to form a solid answer. He Seems to try to avoid his dancestor and the hour long discussions that flow from his dancestor's mouth when they encounter eachother. Despite this, he clearly wants Kankri inside of him. freedom when he is trapped in closed spaces. He would like nothing more than to just eat an entire meal made of his lusus with butter sauce, and also a juice box. Maybe you should give him a juice box. A juice box that actually has Sollux blood inside it. Yeah. That would be your best option.

He staples tapeworms on his penis, and also his other penis. He Is Responsible For The Tapeworms That Are Daily Stapled On Other's Pensises. It is Him. This Is The Lad you Search For When You Discover The Tapeworms. Find Him Today.

Please keep him away from keebler elves.


DEAD OR ALLIIVVVVVEEEEE~

DEAD OR ALIVE

DEAD OR AAAAAAALIVVVEEEEEeeEEEE~


THE FALLEN ARE

THE VIRTUOUS AMONG US

WALK AMONG US

NEVER JUDGE US

TO BE BLESSED


YOU'VE GOT A PASSION IN THOSE EYES

SO AIM IT STRAIGHT AND TRUE


WITH YOUR LAST BREATH OF AIR

AS THE EARTH COMES TREMBLING DOWN

WOULD YOU GIVE HER THIS LAST NIGHT

AND GIVE UP YOUR LIFE?

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